Many older generations think that because a parenting style worked for them that it is the right way to do things. It does not matter if studies have come out in the meantime that debunk the way things used to be done. Because of this, if they see things being done differently than how they raised their kids, comments are likely to be made. And when this happens, it can come across as insulting.
Here is how to react when a family member insults your parenting in front of your kids.
Remember That No One Is Going To Agree On One Parenting Style
When parents are attacked for their parenting style, they are immediately going to go on the defensive. But, if they can step back a bit and recognize that no one is ever going to agree on the “right” way to parent, the criticism may be better able to roll off the back instead.
According to VeryWell Family, a lot of the time, mothers are the culprits who will make comments about their children’s parenting styles. If parents can remember that the woman who is now grandma is a different mother than the one who is raising her grandchildren, they may be able to just let her comments slide.
However, it may be necessary to have a discussion with her about making comments about how parenting is done in front of the kids to not undermine the parents’ authority.
Listen To What They Have To Say
Sometimes, parents do not want to hear what others have to say about their parenting style, even if there is a grain of truth to it. As such, if parents can listen to what is being said, they may be able to gain some insight that may have been impossible to see because they are too close to the situation.
According to Whispered Inspirations, sometimes it can be strange for family members to see that kids are talked to and treated like adults. Something that may not have been done during their generation. And because of this, they may feel that kids have too much freedom to say what they please.
If this appears to be true after some reflection, then parents can take that into consideration. But, if letting people, including kids, speak their minds is working in the household, then parents can politely tell family members not to criticize their parenting in front of the kids.
Educate Family Member On The Chosen Parenting Style
If family members are unclear about the parenting style being used, talking with them about how the style works and why it works for the immediate family may be a way to end the insulting comments for good.
According to Attachment Parenting UK, when people do not understand a parenting style, they may jump to conclusions based on what they have heard about it. But, if they are given an opportunity to see why that particular style was chosen, they may be more receptive to watching it in action.
Because it is never appropriate to have these conversations in front of kids, always make sure to step away when little ears are listening. That way, the conversation may deescalate itself when there is not an audience and cooler heads can prevail.
Source: VeryWell Family, Whispered Inspirations, Attachment Parenting UK