It often feels as if they’re on a mission to test your limits; they’ll do absolutely anything to see you break – throw noodles all across the living room, stain the freshly painted walls with their oily fingers, hit their siblings for no apparent reason.
We understand why you’d be tempted to shout and get cross – but a parenting expert has revealed the reason you should never resort to calling your child ‘naughty’.
Csilla Love, from New South Wales, Australia, is a mum-of-two and certainly knows what it’s like when your kids don’t listen to you no matter what.
“No one is going to what to play with you because you are always so naughty!” she acted out a very typical response in a TikTok video.
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The parenting coach then explained that as parents, we tend to get frustrated – which is understandable – but often struggle to realise that who they are as children is completely separate from their behaviour.
The easiest way of dealing with mischief then naturally seems to be simply labelling your kid as ‘bad’ or ‘naughty’.
However, from a child’s perspective, being called ‘naughty’ makes him think that that’s the only way his parents see him – as a troublemaker.
“This has a huge impact on my self-esteem, my friendships and my relationship with you!”
She then added that when a child’s constantly being labelled a certain way, not only will he start believing it but will also act accordingly.
“The way you’ll treat me in the future will also be affected!”
It will take a lot of hard work and ”inner child healing” to undo this ingrained belief, she said.
”And this is why I go to therapy…” one user wrote, ”Along with many other things.”
She wasn’t the only one, as another TikToker shared the trauma from her childhood: ” Growing up with a parent like this, unable to do better in their eyes, getting diagnosed with bpd (borderline personality disorder), adhd, ptsd & ocd but still misunderstood.”
”Well, my mom told me I was the stupidest child in the world and fat…”, one wrote, ”Even though I had good grades and my weight was normal.”
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Meanwhile, ”I’m an ex-school teacher & this is what your kids’ Nativity play character really says about them.”
Also, this parent was banned from seeing her son in his Christmas nativity – ”I have to watch on YouTube instead & I feel robbed of memories.”