A mum has come up with the perfect solution to stop herself from thinking she is ‘less than’ as a parent – and all it involves is a simple trick used in interviews
But one mum named Lana Hallowes told Kidspot that she has the perfect solution to battling those negative thoughts head-on.
Lana explained that instead of giving in to her inner voice when it lists her flaws, she flips the script and turns her weaknesses into strengths.
Have you ever been in a job interview and been asked to name your biggest weakness? Lana’s process is exactly the same as that – you take that weakness and put it in a positive light.
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She said: “You know that internal monologue we have going on which tells us we are less than – as mums or even just people? Well lately I’ve been trying something out in my day-to-day life to shush it, and it’s working!
“For me, this internal chatter goes something like this: ‘I’m too sensitive. Why can’t I be like Teflon and let it all slide off? Everyone else seems to. I wish I was more focused like those other mums. The ones with to-do lists that actually get done and have perfect hair. I am constantly dropping the balls and my hair is a mess. I need to be less like me.’
“But here’s the thing with that one-sided conversation we all have going on. It does nothing for us. It’s like being in a relationship with a narcissist. It’s all take and no give.”
Lana went on to say that flipping her weaknesses to strengths has helped her realise that her “flaws” aren’t really flaws at all – and the process has stopped her from being so hard on herself.
She added: “Every time I start to put myself down, I pause. Then I try to redefine the weakness I am beating myself up about, whatever it is, as a strength.
“It’s an old job interview trick, but if you’re like me, you’ve never done it because you are too honest. You own your ‘flaws’ because you see them very clearly. But what if they weren’t flaws?”
The mum admitted it can be difficult to get into the right mindset to talk positively about herself, so instead she pretends her best friend is giving her a pep talk.
She wrote: “I try to view myself through my friends’ eyes – the women who are my biggest champions in motherhood and life. The ones who lift me up and vice versa.
“They would say something like: ‘Yes you are sensitive, but your sensitivity gives you great insight and compassion. You are deeply empathetic and such a beautiful mum and friend because of this gift. Also, I know you are a bit disorganised, but hey, you are spontaneous and creative. Seriously, you are amazing the way you do it all without even really planning to.’ ”
Lana hopes her helpful trick will encourage other mums to stop being so hard on themselves too.
She said: “Try this flip-trick the next time you hear that negative little voice and I hope it works for you too.
“Just remember to pretend to be your best friend talking instead of you. She has your back, even when she’s just in your head.”
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