Parallel parenting is a form of parenting where neither side has anything to do with each other, but it might be hard with a narcissistic ex.
Parallel parenting is a form of parenting where neither side has anything to do with each other. There is no communication between the two, and the children are sent to each home with no communication between their parents. This can also work, but it may be hard if mom is dealing with a narcissistic ex.
A narcissistic parent is one who is self-centered, arrogant, has a lack of empathy and has a constant need to be admired by others, according to Help Guide. This type of personality may be hard with which to parallel parent, because they will always want to have their way and be in the conversation.
There Is A High Chance Law Is Involved
When it comes to trying to parallel parent with a narcissist, there is a high chance that a court body is involved in some capacity, according to Joleena Louis Law. That is because narcissists thrive off of confrontation, and parallel parenting may be the only way to avoid interactions at all costs.
When it comes to parallel parenting with a narcissist, it is extremely important to have every single thing in writing. It is important to have a parenting plan in place that is written down. This should include the details of custody and time that the children are spending with each parent. When you must speak to the other parent, make sure it is done by email or text, so that you always have it written down.
~Parental Toolbox: This might be helpful when you are co-parentomg (parallel parenting as it is sometimes called) with a #narcissist. Children are not developmentally able to understand; nor do they need to – yet. Creating safety, security, PREDICTABILITY, & stability is key.~ pic.twitter.com/qZbGZJjVuH
— Move Through To Thriving (@MThriving) June 26, 2018
All Communication About Children
While parallel parenting emphasizes the lack of communication between parents, but there are times when communication must happen. This will likely be due to any medical or other emergencies that occur. When you are forced to have these conversations with your narcissistic ex, it is important that the conversation is solely about the child and the problem at hand.
Do not engage in conversation about anything else other than your children. If your ex does not do the same and tries to lull you into an altercation, dismiss it and act like it never happened. This is another benefit of having every conversation written down and done through email or text.
Children’s Phone Lines
According to HuffPost, it is important to maintain the idea of being separate when parallel parenting. They used the metaphor of two children in a sandbox, and you want to make sure you get as little sand on the other person as possible.
When your children are in the care of your ex, limit the contact you have with your children during that time and set the same boundary for when you have the children. This is another way that limits the amount of interactions between you and your ex. Set a specific time for phone calls and other interactions and make sure that it is in the parenting plan.
READ NEXT: This Global Crisis Has Actually Helped Me & My Ex Agree On Co-Parenting
Sources: Huffington Post, Help Guide, Joleena Louis Law
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