But if you’re on the market, count yourself lucky you didn’t get a date with this lot after a woman started a hilarious “why are you single” series.
Amelia Samson has been sharing wild dating app profiles, filled with specific “hatred” and married men, on her TikTok account @ameliasamson, which have amassed millions of views.
Earlier this month the 28-year-old posted a clip to her account, saying: “Welcome to my first episode of my new game, why are you single. Where you tell me why you think this person’s single.”
She shows a dating profile for a man named Caleb, who’s 30 and starts off his bio with “trigger warning.”
“How every good dating profile starts,” Samson jokes.
Samson, from Seattle, reads out his profile, which says: “Let me guess, you’re 25 with three kids, and you’ve had your fun, now you don’t want that, you want a real man to settle down with and take care of you and your kids…”
He goes on to make a crude reference referring to conception, which Samson redacted.
After his spiel, Caleb sells himself, confirming he’s 6′ tall, owns a house, has no less than two cars, and makes over $75,000 a year.
But he adds: “What do you bring to the table? If the answer is ‘someone else’s kids’ then go kick rocks. No man will ever want you. Stop saying your ‘thicc’… your obese. Also your not a ‘dog mom,’ your a pet owner.”
As she goes through his profile, complete with spelling errors, Samson asks: “Caleb, sugar plum, are you saying your height and having two cars is bringing something to the table? Because it’s not.”
The clip amassed more than 4 million views as people made numerous jokes in the comments.
“He got his heart broken by a 25yo mom of three who loves her dog. His hatred is waaay too specific,” @pasiphae9 wrote.
MONNA thought: “61 miles away isn’t far enough away.”
While Lyssa joked: “Caleb wouldn’t want me because I make more money than him.”
Samson followed up with a part two and three, as she said she had a “special episode of why are you single, featuring someone who’s not.”
On paper JJ looks like a catch, his profile says he’s 38, 6’2″ and 220 pounds, adding: “Muscular build, handsome face, clean cut with tattoos. Well traveled, well spoken, easy going and fun.”
“What’s the catch,” Samson asks. You too may wonder why JJ is single, but it turns out he’s not.
Although he is at least honest, as he says: “I’m only hiding my face so my wife won’t find me here.”
Samson adds: “Y’know JJ something tells me your face was never the worst part of you, you know what I mean.”
Commenting on the gem, Marianne Williams joked: “What a classy gentleman.”
While James Johnston quipped: “Imagine having two faces and not showing either of them.”
Samson calls the third episode “rousing,” saying: “Featuring Leonardo DiCAPSrio,” referencing the fact the man wrote in all capital letters, with no punctuation.
This lothario doesn’t beat around the bush, and opens with: “5 things I hate in humans and woman in general… 1 woman with tattoos and wear almost nothing thinking in her weak mind she will attract men like this cause she have lack of confidence in her self…”
The list goes on to state he doesn’t like “arrogant women,” as well as “liers hypocrit girls.”
The man claims to speak five languages as Samson notes: “But not English.”
Commenting on the ramble, Vivian Than commented: “If he asks what you bring to the table, say punctuation.”
Jenn asked: “Don’t we all have knowledge about anything in general?”
While Can_you_not_17 wrote: “What a catch. I can’t believe no one has locked him down yet.”
Samson, from Seattle, told Newsweek she’s been posting similar series for more than a year.
She explained: “I recently got back into the dating scene after a very long relationship.
“Dating apps didn’t exist the last time I had been single so I was fascinated by them, and started noticing similarities between a lot of profiles (fish pictures, ‘overly competitive about everything,’ etc.). So, I did a ‘men on dating apps’ series of me just saying common things I was seeing.”
The singleton said: “A lot of people that date women were saying things like ‘you should see women’s profiles, women’s profiles are just as bad,’ so I started sharing screenshots of horrible profiles I had come across to demonstrate the type of stuff that people who date men have to see daily.
“Very soon after, I got banned off of Hinge (probably because my Instagram was linked to my account and I had been sharing the videos there), so I asked people who date any gender to send me screenshots of things they were coming across! A year later, I still get about 50 screenshots a day. It’s wild out here.”
Samson, who uses Hinge, Tinder, The League, Bumble, and is “working on” Raya, continued: “The reaction has been really really kind and hilarious for the most part. There’s a feeling of ‘we’re in this mess together.'”
But it’s not without its downsides, as she revealed: “I get a lot of angry men in the comments though thinking that I only speak out against men’s profiles because I hide people’s identities, which I’ve cleared up no short of 200 times now. But you aren’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea.”
Samson, who co-hosts a sex-positive podcast called @thehoelyhour, added: “I’ve been an actor since I was a kid, so with the pandemic having shut down filming, I was so happy to still have a way to make people laugh.”