Children who think they run the house need a parent who is in charge. They are craving guidance and stability. Here are some helpful tips.
The thing is though, there are some kids out there who have no problem expressing that they think they’re the boss of the house. You know what we’re talking about. They try to tell you they don’t want to eat what you’ve made for dinner six nights a week or they feel as though it’s perfectly okay to sit down and watch Shaun The Sheep for four hours straight.
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The thing is, though, as much as we want our kids to stay true to their authentic selves and be confident, they also need to know that in the end you are the parent and a lot of the time they have to trust that your rules and guidelines exist for their own wellbeing. That may be more difficult for some kids to grasp than others, but it’s something they all need to learn as a young child.
So, let’s dig right into how to deal with a child who thinks they rule the house!
Try the demand in a new way
Sometimes when you’re trying to parent a child who is super domineering or really wants to be the boss of the house, you simply need to try changing your phrasing. Psychology Today suggest that you simply “restate the demand”, but you can be sure to not meet their bossy tone and just try it in a different light. If you find that you’re still met with that stubborn sass, you might have to opt for the classic of “Can you ask that in a different way?” and see what you’re met with. Once your child sees that you’re not letting up and are strong in what you need of them, no matter how you say it or how they’re reacting to it, you might really get somewhere with their bossy attitude.
Be sure to not over-negotiate
One thing that just leads to more defiance or trying to run the house is when you’re consistently negotiating with your child who always needs their way. This will only teach them that whatever you’re telling them is simply a jumping off point to start negotiations.
EmpoweringParents.com notes that you want to be sure to not make a habit of over-negotiating your child because “it sends the message that they’re your equal”. And especially for a kid who wants things to go down exactly as they wish every single time in the home, that’s not a message you want to be sending. So, watch out on the bargaining because “it erodes your legitimate authority in the home” and really just brings on more of that bossy and non-negotiable behavior from your child.
Pay less attention to this behavior
One thing some parents have grown accustom to while watching their children grow up is that sometimes they simply love to put on a show for everybody. Supernanny.co.uk suggests that a surefire way to deflect your child’s need to rule the house and try and be the boss every time is to “pay less attention”. Be sure not to laugh at their over-the-top or ridiculous displays, even if they’re pretty cute. Or don’t act in an overly offended way either. Simply step back and pay a little less attention to their demands and bossy behavior and they will start to get the point when you don’t do exactly as they want that mommy and daddy are in charge, not them.
Help them learn to face consequences
A lot of the time when children who want to rule the house and make demands continually act up, there are consequences coming for their misbehavior. Healthline notes the importance of having your children understand the consequences of what’s going to happen when the rules are broken. Sure, you can opt to be the kind of parent who has your child think about what their punishment should be when they behave. And when it’s time to discipline them, you can simply reaffirm that this was the punishment that they chose themselves, so it fits perfectly in line with what was previously discussed.
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